Facades and the unappreciated

In the annals of history, no truer words were spoken than, “Ah y’am what Ah y’am and that’s all that Ah y’am.” Perhaps I’ll acquiesce that Popeye is probably not the first pop culture icon you’d think of when it comes to personal inspiration, but the words hold true.

I fairly epitomize those words, what you see is what you get and I am the same person regardless of location (of course you can’t take me anywhere…but that’s a whole other story). I’m not a big advocate of facades, but I do find myself a slightly different person around people I don’t know. Not so much different, but slightly modified…you see, I have a rather acidic sense of humor (always intended to be in jest) that either utterly endears people to me (I’ve told people that I’ll grow on them…like a fungus) or causes them to completely loathe my very existence and slaughter small animals out of spite.

At one rather large corporation that I worked at, the CEO of the company was visiting the various organizations that comprised the company. When our group was called, we filed into the boardroom, took our seats and the CEO made his “getting to know me” speech, after which the floor was open for each of us to introduce ourselves in turn. After many boastful and ape-like chest beating presentations given by coworkers and managers, the time had arrived for me to introduce myself. “I’m zombie [name changed to protect…bah, who am I kidding, I just like saying zombie] and I’m the site janitor.”

Silence…

“Site janitor?” He asked cocking his head to the side.

“Site janitor,” I said nodding.

“I don’t get it.”

“Well, I’m always cleaning up everyone else’s shit.” I said.

After a moment the CEO exploded with laughter followed by the sounds of unsure chuckles. I braved a glance at my supervisor.

He went home and offed a couple of innocent hamsters, gangland style I’m sure.